Sometimes I can be an emotional moron
At 4:50 PM I knew I had a problem and I was about to create an even larger one. I just discovered this afternoon that all the mattress stores (that I knew of) would close at 6 PM. Ashley and I planned to go mattress shopping today yet she was still out on a run and I had just discovered the stores were closing earlier than I thought.
Instead of immediately contacting Ashley and asking her to run home 🙂 I just waited. I spent all my time focusing on how fast I wanted to get out the door that I didn’t think about her. Did I mention she had been gone for a really long run?
At 5 o’clock Ashley ran in from the rain exhausted and exhilarated. What I failed to see was a sense of excitement in her eyes because she adjust accomplished something. Instead I just marched up to her and said,
“Towel off quick Hon we need to go look at mattresses.”
Ashley visibly deflated before my eyes. She had wanted to tell me that she had just run longer than she had ever run before – 8 miles. Instead, the light went out in her eyes and she just walked off to take a shower.
With one sentence and a total inability to see that my wife wanted to share something special with me, I crushed her spirit.
Thankfully, and about a minute too late, I realized what I had done. However, the damage was done. Even though I apologized multiple times it took her a little bit to get over what I had said and how I had said it. She had every right to be hurt, she wanted to share an accomplishment with me and I just treated her like a kid. I did not have a good sense of what was going on with her emotionally.
Thankfully, we had a good rest of the night. I have an absolutely amazing and graceful wife. Yet, I know she can probably still feel the pain of that moment.
Two lessons strike me out of this experience:
First of all I did not perform my duty as a husband to love Ashley.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Colossians 5:25
It’s sad, just last week I told all the man at Cornerstone that it was their responsibility to set the tone of love in the household. As men, we are the ones commanded to love our wives. If I had practiced what I was preaching, I would have looked at my wife, listened to her and loved her rather than just telling her what to do.
Second, I failed to emotionally love my wife:
Now I know we usually leave the role of emotions in the hands of women. And I have just demonstrated that I can be an emotional moron. Yet, when I read the Bible God tells me to love him and others with my head and my heart. I want to do more of looking at my wife’s face and hearing her heart to love her better.
I have an incredible wife! (Did I mention she ran 8 miles today!?) Tomorrow I will try to do a better job loving her and caring for her with my mind and my heart.