Looking up from my laptop the room swam before my eyes. I felt like my head and the pain inside had somehow distanced itself from the rest of my body. Then I panicked, I had a funeral to lead in a few hours!
This space cadet moment resulted from me trying to deal with post surgery misery.
In the days since my sclarel buckle eye surgery exhaustion has surprised me. I feel like the rest of my body shouldn’t feel like I’ve run a marathon. That said, I did go through a 3 hour surgery last Thursday!
In truth, I’ve struggled with feeling tired all day since Surgery. I sit around most of the day and sleep close to 10 hours a night.
I have one solution to exhaustion annoyance. I just find a mirror and stare at my Sith lord eyeball. Deep in the bloody mess of the eyeball I see the scale of the healing work left. It helps me to cut me some slack.
You’d think with a circle of plastic sewed to my eyeball I’d feel more pain! In reality my eye only hurts with a dull ache. Sometimes the eye hurts when I move it suddenly but less every day.
Headaches mark the more annoying part of recovery. Instead of a sharp pain I can bat down, headaches lurk more quietly. When I try to study much I get a headache. Around 5am daily I get a headache. When I play with my daughters, I get an headache. My surgery eye reminds me of its’ presence with headaches.
The Monday morning disaster
I woke Monday determined to prepare well for the funeral at 1:30. My body woke determined to stay exhausted and remind me I had surgery. After going through the motions of breakfast, coffee, and after breakfast nap, I realized I needed help.
So I got out my prescribed hydrocodone. For some reason I hoped it would clear my mind and get rid of the headache. I took the pill and drove to Starbucks to finish writing out everything I would say at the funeral.
The room started swimming just as I finished writing the last prayer. Something between my exhaustion, the coffee, and my surgery turned me loopy. So I slapped myself focused and very slowly drove the half mile home.
Home I scrambled (in slow motion) to call a friend to figure out how to shake the fog. I found out that by eating lots of protein and drinking lots of water I could flush my system. So I sprawled in a chair and did just that.
Concerned for the funeral I called a retired pastor friend. With slurred speech I asked him to attend a strangers funeral with me just in case I needed him. I also needed a driver for myself. He gracefully obligated.
Thankfully well before the funeral started I managed to clear my head and respectfully care for the family.
No more hydrocodone for me
Despite the remaining pills in a bottle I really don’t plan to take any more hydrocodone. It didn’t fix my headache pains, it just distanced me mentally from them. I really don’t know why I reacted so strongly to an apparently low dose of Hydrocodone. Perhaps the coffee or my exhaustion just made me especially loopy.
Surgery recovery humbles me. I have more exhaustion than I know what to do with. Pains chase me and the solutions to them cause more problems. I trust God with my today. That means, I try throughout the day to turn to Him for healing and for wisdom. I surrender what stands beyond my control (a lot) and trust in His goodness.